when there is nothing left to burn...

you have to set yourself on fire.

i dont know, today was really gross outside, but matthew made me really happy, he's so adorable! here are some pix !


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college part 09328
yea yo. sooo i finished my sculpture which i actually like it! ill take a pic and put it up for the next entry. i got an A on my art history test! wtf man lol. and i love my boyfriend! how weird i that? im not used to loving a guy! but yea, he's awesome. we get each other, and i feel pretty damn special to be with him, hes sucha cutie!

on other news, im coming home this weekend! yayayayaya super duper excited to see all my peeps! <3

i cant wait to hug you all! and i spoke to this guy kyle about schools, he said he got into new paltz's art program, and like a bunch of other schools like sva and nyu but he liked montclair the best. ive been hearing that from a lot of ppl and im like...??? and then theyre like yea the art program here rocks, its really distinguished, and then i think to myself, i should be pretty damn happy im here! i mean, the art program is actually really good here! the teachers are all artists themselves, and crazy and i love them all. i spoke to the director of photo and im gonna be be photo 2 next semester which im really excited about. i mean, when i went to see joey at parsons, i really liked being in the city, but i also really really like having a campus! and im right near the city, so i mean, who knows. i mean the commuting thing bothers me, but if i ring my car and start to understand jersey more then i could go explore myself, or go with matthew places- who knows!

but yea, im on and off bewteen transferring. i guess i'll just take it as it goes. let it be, i already have like 50 plus numbers in my phone from ppl at montclair, which i think is pretty good i suppose.  theres just like, so many chill people here, its awesome!

okay guys, im mad sleepy and i need to do some math, fix and essay and start design hw. im gonna go but yea! come visit me sometime, pleasie please!! both of my roomies had their friends visit and im like...er!! where are mineeeeee?? :(:(



so im updating. its really fun during the week here, but then on weekends...everyone goes home! its like a ghost town which is mad weird. whatever, though. im getting used to the food, im actually taking advantage of the salad bar, they have really good salad stuff, yum!

i wish matt didnt commute, i miss him too much when he goes home! oh and about that, i really am enjoying this feeling! its so great to get out of class and have your boyfriend there and mush on him like on the grass and stuff. i think im falling in love :X

so yea, right now im really stuffed, i just ate like too much food and then ariel and i chilled in the sculpture garden ad climbed rocks. im like exploding right now!

what to do tonight? hm...theres some performance at the theatre on campus, i might go to, or i'll actually do my english essay.

i'm so freaking excited for the arcade fire! october 6th! yea baby!

but yea, besides the fact that im bored sometimes here, i really do like it. i went to a field hockey game today, cause i joined the newspaper so i'm a photographer for it! it was pretty fun like going out, it was really nice today. on wednesday im going to the radio meeting, super excited for that!

oh on a bad note, im getting sick! i have a stuffed nose, and popped ears, gah! i dont wanna! oh yea but at least my momma is coming tomorrow and im gonna get some vitamin c and stuff. thats a plus, that my mom can come and visit me and bring me stuff from home and shiznit. im a fan.

i wanna snuggle with my mush right now!

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so i have a boyfriend, which is going to be a hell of a new experience for me, considering my past with boyfriends and them not working. but yea! this is new and exciting.

im really tried, and i really miss all of my friends from home, im like waiting for winter break when we can all hang out all of the time and dance and have fun and gah i love you guys

(no subject)
so life is pretty effing awesome

1. matt, is i dont know, hes amazing. i know it sounds really soon but we hang out and kiss and talk everyday and its great
2. i bought tickets to see the go! team!!!!!! and kim and noreen are going with me, and my friend alex from school is prob too, im so excitedd
3. matt took me inot town today and we had mexican food, it was so good ahhhh

okay oh man im like super excited for october!!

like first of all the arcade fire! then homecoming weekend and and then the go team!! AHH

oh man oh man oh man okay i g2g adding byeee

so i like barely get any sleep anymore. i love my roomies so much. we're all like best friends and theyre like so freaking nice! like if lets say i have to stay in the dorm to finish my art project, theyll go to the store and get me food! oh and the food situation at the school sucks, but in my dorm rocks. we have so much food, and we all share and love each other. aw its so damn cute. (it really is) yesterday airel and i had the 9/11 thing on tv, and we were both crying and talking about death and stuff, and then like i had to go my design class. my art professors are so freaking weird and awesome. <3 them

yea so last night gretell was playing some rap music cause she pretends to be ghetto sometimes and i threw on a sports bra, and underwear and we all freaking danced hahaha. i dont even know, we all laugh so much in this room. its like i dont think ive laughed so hard all the time.

i was going into hysterics because ariel didnt know how to do laundry, but gretell and i already did ours. so we were like cmon do it!! and she was like...tomorrow! so she went to the bathroom and we bolted to the laundry room and did her laundry hahaha, she walks in and shes like ...guys!!!...thanks! hahahaha and then i was laughing cause there was a Q-tip on the floor. and then gretell took a condom and put her whole hand in it, and filled it up with water, and its sitting in our sink. she named him frank.

on  a different note, i sort of kind of have a boy...thing, we'll see!
his name is matt, hes an animation/illustration major, and he's 6"2'..oh baby!

different note: im coming home this weekend! im going out to dinner with sara and her parents, and my dad somewhere, and i intend to see kelly, dan dan, and whoever else wants to see the glorious me.

im so tired i went to bed at like fucking 4 am and its 830. i woke up early to do my art history hw- my class is at 11:30. its mad easy homework.
so i'll prob get back to sleep after im done.

its so cold in my dorm!!! oh and i got my period, and im so freaking achy. AHH pain pain painnrgRAE

so in the end, so far college has been a lot of fun. i havent been partying really, like at all. unless you call smoking a bowl with 2 film friends partying, which i dont lol. im content just chillin.

something that i noticed changed about me since i came is that i am a lot more organized. my bed is really neat, and beautiful. i really like having a loft bed minus the fact that when matt got on it - it almost broke hahahah. he's a really good kisser :-b

okay well, i need to freaking poop out of my ass right now!!!!!

soo im in college, and its pretty fucking sweet. i have the freedom to do whatever, and i feel like so much more mature just by knowing that i did my own laundry on my own, im keeping my place clean, and im going to class.

after my million hours of art classes today i went to this awesome art supplies store like 5 minutes away, its amazing. anyway i got a bunch of stuff for classes and i also got this awesome sketch notebook. i love it soo much. also, my roomies are seriously like amazing. and some the the people here are great. my design professor seems really great and so does my new student seminar professor. anyway im gonna post some pictures of some random shit ive been doing of late. the first picture is the cover of my new sketch book.

its handmade, and with recycled paper. how pretty is that? it was 8 bucks.

practice for design/fun

just for fun :)

a watercolor i did for fun in my dorm, took like 20-30 minutes.

anyway so thats what ive been up to. i hope everyone is well, im pretty tired, so im gonna go to sleep. please comment!

p.s- i miss you all!!

so..i've been home and its making me really depressed. i really really miss all of my friends, im not used to like everyone being gone at the same time, i dont know how i'd handle it if i was going to a local school and staying home, i'd probably be really sad all the time. even if i moved into a shithole of a dorm, i just want to leave here. so i've been watching a whole bunch of movies lately. in the past 3 days i saw: rasing arizona, robin hood men in tights, casablanca, i now pronounce you chuck and larry, being john malkovich, and L'Auberge Espagnole (the spanish apartment)...yea and tomorrow i'm going to the dentist to get a cavity filled and then to the library to take out a bunch of movies before i go.

its so weird knowing like no one is home. i cant call any of my friends call theyre all gone! i mean yea some people are here, but like...i'm used to having large groups and like hanging out with different people all the time, like matt said to me today i guess i've been lucky with my friends.


my room is a mess, i'm lonely, and bored...i need september to start already! i want classes again, friends and new things...

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im still amazed at the fact that we're all starting college. i feel like from now-on, all of ours lives are going to go by much much quicker. i think i'm starting to understand that whole idea that when you're young you feel like you're going to live forever. i mean, obviously we still are young, but geesh we're going to college guys! i can't believe we're all...adults now. i'm still in awe.

(no subject)
so i finished my laptop case i was working on. i used fabric paint to do it.

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